You are a true Kansan when:

1. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.



2. You have never met any celebrities (Bob Dole isn't a

  celebrity; he's your neighbor.)



3. You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk.



4 Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away and you

 can still see him from your front porch.



5. You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Cimmeron,

  Schoenchen,Kechi and Osawatomie.



6. Going on vacation means going to Hutch to the fair or

  to Abilene to Ike's museum.



7. A traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down

  at a four-waystop, each determined to be the most polite

  and let the other go first.



8. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F10

  4x4 is. (Except in Johnson County)



9. You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to

  drive your car.



10. The terms Sooners and Huskers cause hairs on the back

   of your neck to stand up straight and your blood

   pressure to rise.



11 You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than

  your fist.



12. You think people who complain about the wind and

   weather in their states are SISSIES!



13. You are not surprised to find movie rentals,

   ammunition and bait all in the same store.



14. You know that the true value of a parking space

   is not determined by the distance to the door but

   by the availability of shade.



15. You have been asked, "Where is Toto" more than once.



16. You had at least one summer job that was bucking

   bales or custom cutting.



17. More than once you've made a beer run to another state.



18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned to

   multiply.



19. Your school classes have been canceled because of

   the cold.



20. You know in your heart that K-State can beat

   Oklahoma in football.



21. Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a

   combine on the highway.



22. You have had to switch from heat to A/C in the

   same day.



23. You know everything goes better with Ranch.



24. Your school classes have been canceled because

   of the heat.



25. You have ridden the school bus for more than an

   hour each way.



26. In August, you break a sweat the instant you

   step outside at 7:00 a.m.



27. You instantly know someone is from Johnson County

   when they call everything west of Topeka...

   "Western" Kansas.



28. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out

   in the yard and look for a funnel.



29. You know the real way to pronounce the name of

   the river... arKANSAS.



30. You think the opening day of pheasant season is

   a national holiday.



31. "Vacation" means going to Kansas City or Wichita

   for the weekend.



32. You measure distance in hours.



33. You know several people who have hit more than one deer.



34. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.



35. You install security lights on your house and garage and

   leave both unlocked.



36  You think of the major food groups as beer, beef and beans.



37. You carry jumper cables in your car and make sure your

   better half knows how to use them.



38. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over

   a snowsuit.



39. You know the 4 seasons as: summer, road construction,

   still summer, winter.



40. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item

   even when you're in a rush because you have to stop

   and talk to everyone in town.



41. You lock the doors to your truck but leave the

   windows rolled down.



42. You call sodas just plain ol' "Pop"!!



43. FINALLY..... you are 100% Kansan if...........

   You actually understand these jokes and forward them

   to all your friends from Kansas.