1. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
2. You have never met any celebrities (Bob Dole isn't a
celebrity; he's your neighbor.)
3. You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk.
4 Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away and you
can still see him from your front porch.
5. You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Cimmeron,
Schoenchen,Kechi and Osawatomie.
6. Going on vacation means going to Hutch to the fair or
to Abilene to Ike's museum.
7. A traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down
at a four-waystop, each determined to be the most polite
and let the other go first.
8. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F10
4x4 is. (Except in Johnson County)
9. You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to
drive your car.
10. The terms Sooners and Huskers cause hairs on the back
of your neck to stand up straight and your blood
pressure to rise.
11 You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than
12. You think people who complain about the wind and
weather in their states are SISSIES!
13. You are not surprised to find movie rentals,
ammunition and bait all in the same store.
14. You know that the true value of a parking space
is not determined by the distance to the door but
by the availability of shade.
15. You have been asked, "Where is Toto" more than once.
16. You had at least one summer job that was bucking
bales or custom cutting.
17. More than once you've made a beer run to another state.
18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned to
19. Your school classes have been canceled because of
20. You know in your heart that K-State can beat
Oklahoma in football.
21. Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a
combine on the highway.
22. You have had to switch from heat to A/C in the
23. You know everything goes better with Ranch.
24. Your school classes have been canceled because
of the heat.
25. You have ridden the school bus for more than an
hour each way.
26. In August, you break a sweat the instant you
step outside at 7:00 a.m.
27. You instantly know someone is from Johnson County
when they call everything west of Topeka...
28. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out
in the yard and look for a funnel.
29. You know the real way to pronounce the name of
the river... arKANSAS.
30. You think the opening day of pheasant season is
a national holiday.
31. "Vacation" means going to Kansas City or Wichita
for the weekend.
32. You measure distance in hours.
33. You know several people who have hit more than one deer.
34. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
35. You install security lights on your house and garage and
leave both unlocked.
36 You think of the major food groups as beer, beef and beans.
37. You carry jumper cables in your car and make sure your
better half knows how to use them.
38. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over
39. You know the 4 seasons as: summer, road construction,
still summer, winter.
40. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item
even when you're in a rush because you have to stop
and talk to everyone in town.
41. You lock the doors to your truck but leave the
windows rolled down.
42. You call sodas just plain ol' "Pop"!!
43. FINALLY..... you are 100% Kansan if...........
You actually understand these jokes and forward them
to all your friends from Kansas.